As we sat in our second mental health unit discharge meeting for our daughter, two weeks after her first discharge, we asked what we can do for our other kids who are also greatly affected by this. The psychiatrist asked us what we would do for our other kids if our child had cancer. That was easy to answer after watching our niece, and her parents and siblings, go through the cancer journey. When a child has cancer, or other serious illness, they receive community support. The family is offered the opportunity to go to indoor amusement parks and water parks. Organizations pay for child care so that the parents can have time together. There are many programs available to these families in crisis. But these programs are not available to families dealing with a child with mental illness. These families get nothing. The psychiatrist looked at me, and simply agreed; there is no support like this for families that have a child with mental illness.
Children with mental illness are treated very different than children with physical illnesses. Instead of sitting with our daughter and helping her get better we had to leave her, all alone, at the hospital. We got to say goodbye, and then we had to walk away. During the first admission the hospital staff were going to transfer her from the locked behavioral health emergency room to the general emergency room overnight until a bed was ready in the adolescent mental health unit. No other parent would be asked to leave their sick child in an emergency room by themselves overnight. I was angry and appalled. Thankfully a bed opened up before I was made to leave. During the second admission we did have to leave our daughter in the general emergency room in the middle of the night. I asked the nurse to have a security guard stationed at her room. It was only going to be an hour or so until she was moved to a room in the mental health wing, but a lot can happen in a large city emergency room in a short amount of time.
During the second admission a crisis line professional recommended that we bring our daughter to the emergency room. We were treated as if we were over reacting, and questioned about the necessity of the visit. A parent of a child with a physical illness would be treated with kindness, even for bringing their child in for the common cold. The notes from the visit stated "the parents are uncomfortable bringing her home." Yes, we were! She needed more help at that moment than we could provide. Being as she was not discharged until seven days later, the visit was necessary!
During our third visit to the emergency room, which was recommended by our county case manager, I actually yelled at the doctor. He told our daughter, and repeated to me, that her options were to go home or go to a homeless shelter. The doctor stated that the hospital can no longer help our daughter, and if we refuse to take her home they would send her to a homeless shelter. I questioned the doctor about this practice, stating that it is unacceptable to send a suicidal teen to a homeless shelter. He had the audacity to tell me that our daughter wasn't suicidal. Being suicidal for the past sixteen hours, having a plan, and having a note written didn't count as being at risk of committing suicide for this doctor. I told him that our daughter is lucky to have parents that will take her home and monitor her, but what about the kids that don't have parents that will do that? What do those kids do?
I understand that mental illness is different from other childhood illnesses and it needs to be treated differently. However, the families and children need compassion, support, and help. They don't need to be treated like it's their fault. They don't need to be disbelieved, and questioned about the necessity of the visit.
I am hopeful that the treatment of children with mental illness, their parents, and their siblings improves as Congress passes bills to increase mental health services, increase the number of child psychiatrists and decrease the stigma of mental illness. The passage of the Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act of 2016 brings hope that families will get the help they need.
We are receiving county mental health support for our daughter and our family since her second hospital visit. This support is helpful and we are thankful for it. We have many assessments and meetings for these services that are overwhelming, but we are dedicated to do whatever it takes to help our daughter, just as any parent of a child with a physical illness would do.
We have some friends and family that regularly ask how things are going, and offer help. I am thankful for this. I appreciate a friend whose response to the news of our daughter's first hospitalization was, "I don't know what to say." She was honest. At first it was difficult to talk about our daughter's mental illness, we kept things quiet. Then I realized that I am a mental health advocate. I say that we need to talk about it; therefore, I need to talk about it. Even my husband, who is very private, talks about it now.
Ask yourself if you treat someone with a physical illness and someone with depression the same way. Do you find yourself using words like courageous and strong for people with a physical illness and words such as lazy and crazy for a person with a mental illness? If you don't think you have stigma about mental illness take the quiz at the bottom of this page: http://makeitok.org/.
Our daughter that suffers with mental illness is our daughter, even though she is not biologically ours. We've only had her and her sister since July 2016 and permanent guardianship since September 2016. During her first hospitalization I looked at my husband and said, "how can we love a child so much that we've only really known for five months?" While the fact that she is not biologically our child helps to reduce the stigma question of what we did wrong, dealing with her mental illness is still difficult. I want to take this all away from her. I want to take away her pain as much as a parent wants to take away the pain from their child suffering from a physical illness. Although mental illness is treated differently, the pain and the agony are the same.
Let Your Light Shine by ending the stigma of mental illness. Call or text someone you know that deals with mental illness just to see how they are doing. Become a member of NAMI and pledge to be stigma free. Offer support and help for a family dealing with mental illness. Make blankets or donate stuffed animals to the children and adolescent mental health unit of a hospital. See the person, not the illness.
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Galations 6:9
Children with mental illness are treated very different than children with physical illnesses. Instead of sitting with our daughter and helping her get better we had to leave her, all alone, at the hospital. We got to say goodbye, and then we had to walk away. During the first admission the hospital staff were going to transfer her from the locked behavioral health emergency room to the general emergency room overnight until a bed was ready in the adolescent mental health unit. No other parent would be asked to leave their sick child in an emergency room by themselves overnight. I was angry and appalled. Thankfully a bed opened up before I was made to leave. During the second admission we did have to leave our daughter in the general emergency room in the middle of the night. I asked the nurse to have a security guard stationed at her room. It was only going to be an hour or so until she was moved to a room in the mental health wing, but a lot can happen in a large city emergency room in a short amount of time.
During the second admission a crisis line professional recommended that we bring our daughter to the emergency room. We were treated as if we were over reacting, and questioned about the necessity of the visit. A parent of a child with a physical illness would be treated with kindness, even for bringing their child in for the common cold. The notes from the visit stated "the parents are uncomfortable bringing her home." Yes, we were! She needed more help at that moment than we could provide. Being as she was not discharged until seven days later, the visit was necessary!
During our third visit to the emergency room, which was recommended by our county case manager, I actually yelled at the doctor. He told our daughter, and repeated to me, that her options were to go home or go to a homeless shelter. The doctor stated that the hospital can no longer help our daughter, and if we refuse to take her home they would send her to a homeless shelter. I questioned the doctor about this practice, stating that it is unacceptable to send a suicidal teen to a homeless shelter. He had the audacity to tell me that our daughter wasn't suicidal. Being suicidal for the past sixteen hours, having a plan, and having a note written didn't count as being at risk of committing suicide for this doctor. I told him that our daughter is lucky to have parents that will take her home and monitor her, but what about the kids that don't have parents that will do that? What do those kids do?
I understand that mental illness is different from other childhood illnesses and it needs to be treated differently. However, the families and children need compassion, support, and help. They don't need to be treated like it's their fault. They don't need to be disbelieved, and questioned about the necessity of the visit.
I am hopeful that the treatment of children with mental illness, their parents, and their siblings improves as Congress passes bills to increase mental health services, increase the number of child psychiatrists and decrease the stigma of mental illness. The passage of the Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act of 2016 brings hope that families will get the help they need.
We are receiving county mental health support for our daughter and our family since her second hospital visit. This support is helpful and we are thankful for it. We have many assessments and meetings for these services that are overwhelming, but we are dedicated to do whatever it takes to help our daughter, just as any parent of a child with a physical illness would do.
We have some friends and family that regularly ask how things are going, and offer help. I am thankful for this. I appreciate a friend whose response to the news of our daughter's first hospitalization was, "I don't know what to say." She was honest. At first it was difficult to talk about our daughter's mental illness, we kept things quiet. Then I realized that I am a mental health advocate. I say that we need to talk about it; therefore, I need to talk about it. Even my husband, who is very private, talks about it now.
Ask yourself if you treat someone with a physical illness and someone with depression the same way. Do you find yourself using words like courageous and strong for people with a physical illness and words such as lazy and crazy for a person with a mental illness? If you don't think you have stigma about mental illness take the quiz at the bottom of this page: http://makeitok.org/.
Our daughter that suffers with mental illness is our daughter, even though she is not biologically ours. We've only had her and her sister since July 2016 and permanent guardianship since September 2016. During her first hospitalization I looked at my husband and said, "how can we love a child so much that we've only really known for five months?" While the fact that she is not biologically our child helps to reduce the stigma question of what we did wrong, dealing with her mental illness is still difficult. I want to take this all away from her. I want to take away her pain as much as a parent wants to take away the pain from their child suffering from a physical illness. Although mental illness is treated differently, the pain and the agony are the same.
Let Your Light Shine by ending the stigma of mental illness. Call or text someone you know that deals with mental illness just to see how they are doing. Become a member of NAMI and pledge to be stigma free. Offer support and help for a family dealing with mental illness. Make blankets or donate stuffed animals to the children and adolescent mental health unit of a hospital. See the person, not the illness.
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Galations 6:9
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