Monday, July 25, 2016

Peace

The morning of July 3, 2016 was overcast with a light drizzle.  I awoke at 6:00 am to go for a run.  I grabbed a protein bar and got dressed as quietly as possible as to not wake anyone up.  I headed out of the cabin we were staying at in Kentucky and headed down the mountain.  The drive up was steep, and the walk down was tricky.  At the bottom I started my runkeeper app and started out.  The run was good, and there was little traffic. I mentally prepared myself for the longest run I had ever done.  In high school, I often ran up to five miles when I participated in track and cross country.  I had run two 10K races, which is 6.2 miles.  Until today I had never run 7 miles at one time.  But, here I was on the road in Kentucky, with no shoulder, running to one of my favorite spots from childhood.  Nada Tunnel was one of my favorite places to visit with my mom when we were younger.  Yesterday, when trying to find a trail in the Red River Gorge area, I decided to clock how far it was from the Nada Tunnel back to our cabin.  It was exactly 3.5 miles.  Round trip would be 7 miles.  This is the route I ran on this morning.  As I ran I thought about the events to come that day.  I enjoyed the run and it prepared me for the event to come.

On this morning we prepared to lay Nicole's ashes to rest in the family cemetery on the top of a mountain in southeastern Kentucky.

When I arrived back at the cabin from my run everyone was awake and preparing for the day.  We made salads for the picnic after the ceremony.  We got dressed and packed up.  We headed south to the family cemetery, an hour and a half away.

When we arrived some family was already there.  I greeted cousins I hadn't seen in years.  I introduced my family to those they had not met.  Soon, it was time to walk up the mountain to the cemetery.  I don't know whether to call these places mountains or really big hills. My mom, who grew up in Kentucky calls them mountains.  We are at the beginning of Appalachia, so I will call them mountains.

As we made our way up the mountain I went over the poem I had written so that I could get through it without sobbing.  We began the ceremony that I and my mom had worked on for weeks, trying to make it meaningful, but not too long.  There was some confusion about who was going to read what, and the last verse of Amazing Grace that I downloaded was not the same as the traditional hymn.  I read my poem, without completely melting down.  My brother placed the dirt over the box of ashes.

When the ceremony was complete the family began to walk back to the house.  My husband walked back with the boys.  I took a few pictures and then stood there.  I stood there with my mom, dad, brother, and sister and a feeling of peace came over me.  Nicole was finally at rest.  She was at rest below a shade tree on the top of the mountain.  I could see her watching over us all from up there.  We gathered the shovel and began to walk back to the house.  I looked at my mom and told her that I had a profound sense of peace.  She also felt it.  I had been praying for peace for all of us and now we had it.

Nicole's life was difficult.  It was full of emotional and physical pain.  Now she was resting.  She wasn't hurting.  She could watch us all from the mountain.  The peace brought us all closer.  I haven't cried as much since that day.  I still miss Nicole, I still talk to her, but I have some peace now; because she is at peace.

If you have suffered a loss, or you are suffering physically, or emotionally do something to find peace.  Write a letter, spend some time in nature, talk to someone, write your story, create a memorial, go to church, read the Bible, talk to God.  

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7





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